


I Feel My Nightmares Watching Me

by tabbytabbytabby



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Fluff, Future Fic, Getting Together, Good Theo Raeken, Guilt, Happy Ending, Living Together, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Theo Raeken Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 23:06:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15205469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: Scott had nightmares for months after they put Theo in the ground. It took him a while but eventually he was able to get past them. Then Theo came back, and Scott was able to see firsthand just how being away affected him. The nightmares and guilt return, at least until a talk with Theo changes things.





	I Feel My Nightmares Watching Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Sceo, and I honestly blame the gif and the soft Sceo I've been hit with lately. It was only a matter of time before I spiraled.

“ _Help me Scott!”_

Scott wakes up with a gasp, his eyes moving around the room as he realizes he’s alone in his bed and not in the tunnels. He can feel the sweat beading across his forehead and down his back. He falls back against his pillows with a groan. He’s been having the same nightmare for weeks. It’s not an unfamiliar one. He’d had it for months after they sent Theo to hell. Even though at the time he thought he was doing the right thing, those last words Theo shouted at him before he was dragged under always flashed through his mind, bringing on the endless guilt.

It lessened with time, and so did the nightmares. Especially after Theo came back. Except then Theo came to live with them. Then he started hearing Theo having his own nightmares and he knew that despite what he showed to the world Theo really wasn’t as okay as he seemed. That while being in hell might have helped him change, it came with consequences none of them could really understand. No one talks about it. Hell, Scott isn’t sure any of the others really think about it. But he does. Because he has to see the weight on Theo’s shoulders every day, and live with the knowledge that he is at least a little bit responsible for the hollowness he sees in his eyes.

Scott tries to quiet his breathing and get his heart rate under control. The last thing he needs is for someone to hear him, for _Theo_ to hear him. Somehow he’s managed to not wake him up so far but he knows it’s only a matter of time. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to explain the dreams he has.

“Scott?” Theo’s quiet voice sounds from right outside his door.

Scott stills. He knows Theo can hear he’s awake. As much as he doesn’t think he’s ready to face this he knows he can’t turn Theo away. Not when they’ve been working so hard to get back on good footing.

“Yeah,” Scott calls back.

The door cracks open and Theo peeks his head in, “Can I come in?”

Scott nods, watching as Theo slips inside. He hesitates by the door until Scott pats the spot on the bed next to him. Then he walks over, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Theo doesn’t say anything at first. He just keeps his eyes on his hands. Scott watches him carefully.

“I heard you,” Theo says, his gaze moving to find Scott’s, “I heard you screaming.”

“Yeah,” Scott sighs, running a hand through his hair as he sits up, “I had a nightmare. Sorry if I woke you.”

“It’s not that,” Theo says. “What were you dreaming about?”

“I…” Scott is tempted to say he doesn’t remember or it’s not important, both of which would be obvious lies.

“I heard you screaming my name,” Theo says, his gaze now focused on the floor. “You kept saying you were sorry.”

“Yeah.”

“What are you sorry about?”

“Everything,” Scott sighs, “Mostly what we did to you. It wasn’t right. No matter what you did, there had to have been another way. But we still… I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” Theo says, surprising Scott. “I mean, it was horrible and I never want to go through it again, but I’d hate to think of the person I’d be right now if I hadn’t gone through that.”

“You don’t know that you wouldn’t have eventually came around,” Scott says.

Theo shakes his head, giving him a sad smile, “Don’t I? I’d like to believe I’d have eventually come around but we don’t know that for sure. So tell me Scott, would you give up the man you have sitting here with you just to stop me from going through that pain?”

Scott’s not sure what to say, or what the right answer even is. He knows he wishes Theo wouldn’t have endured what he did, but Theo seems okay with it.

_Would you give up the man you have sitting here with you?_

Scott isn’t sure. He’s grown fond of this Theo, more than fond if he’s honest with himself. Which is part of the problem.

“I don’t know,” Scott whispers. “I just know that when I saw you being dragged away I immediately regretted what we did, I tried to go for you but it was too late. And it has haunted me ever since then. It’s worse knowing where you were and what you went through. I hate that I put you through that. But I… I care about you. I like who you are, who you’re still working on becoming. And no, I don’t want to lose that. Even if that does make me selfish.”

“I don’t want to lose it either,” Theo tells him. “So as much as it hurts and still gives me nightmares I think I needed it to happen.” Theo looks down at his hands, his words barely above a whisper when he speaks. Scott’s sure they’re not even meant for him. “I deserve it.”

Scott’s hand snaps out, gripping Theo’s chin until he looks at him. There’s a pain in his eyes that leaves Scott winded. “No,” Scott says, shaking his head. “No you didn’t. And I know you think you came out better for it, and maybe you did, but that doesn’t mean that I’m not sorry every day for sending you there.”

“I hurt you,” Theo whispers. “Scott I _killed you_. You should hate me right now. Not be feeling guilty.”

“I could never hate you Theo,” Scott tells him. “Never. Not even when you were doing all those things. Maybe I should have, but I just couldn’t. Because even then I just saw the boy I knew. I wondered what happened to him.”

“Life happened,” Theo mutters, “the Dread Doctors and their shitty influence and promises happened. They got under my skin, Scott. And I let them. Back then I thought I was doing what I needed to, but now I know I was wrong. I know that doesn’t change things…”

“Do you feel guilty?” Scott asks. “Do you regret it?”

“Every day,” Theo breathes. “Every single damn day.”

Scott nods, letting his hand drop, but only to the back of Theo’s neck. Theo sighs, leaning into the touch when Scott squeezes. He keeps doing it, letting his hand work through some of the knots and tension he feels, watching as Theo relaxes little by little.

“Do you think you’ll ever forgive me?” Theo asks, his eyes more vulnerable than Scott can remember seeing them. At least not sense he came back.

“Theo, I forgave you a long time ago,” Scott tells him. “I thought you knew that.”

Theo shakes his head, moving to bring a hand up to wipe away the tears that have slipped past his eyes. Scott stops him, bringing his own hand up and wiping away the tears as they fall. That just makes Theo cry harder.

“Theo…” Scott moves his arms to wrap around Theo and pull him in for a hug. He feels Theo grabbing at the front of his shirt, most likely needing something to hold onto as he cries. Scott feels his own eyes welling up with tears. He tries to hold them back but he can’t. It breaks him to see Theo like this. To know that he’s partially responsible for some of the pain he’s feeling. “I’m so sorry Theo. I’m here. You’re safe.”

Scott moves until he’s laying down and pulls Theo with him. He expects a bit of a fight or an argument but Theo comes willingly. He settles onto his side with his head on Scott’s chest. While Scott keeps an arm around his waist while his other hand comes up to card through Theo’s hair.

Slowly Theo settles down, his tears subsiding. Scott listens as Theo’s breathing starts to slow to a more normal rate. He looks down to see Theo’s eyes closed and his face lax with sleep. Scott smiles and places a kiss to the top of Theo’s head, “I’ve got you.”

He closes his eyes, letting Theo’s warmth and the comforting beat of his heart lull him to sleep.

***

They don’t talk about it after that. Theo slips out of his room before Scott can take up and things go on. There is a change though. Theo seems less on edge and more relaxed now than he had before their talk. His smiles start to look a little less forced and the conversation he has with the pack a little less stilted. The biggest change is after that night where they fell asleep in Scott’s bed it keeps happening.

Every night since that night Theo has crept into Scott’s room. The first night he’d hovered uncertainly by the end of the bed before Scott reached out and tugged him down, wrapping himself around Theo. After that Theo just starts crawling into bed next to him. Most of the time Scott holds him, but sometimes Scott will wake up with the warmth of Theo’s body pressed against his back, Theo’s hot breaths against his neck, and a sense of contentment fills him. He’s not sure if it’s home or Theo’s. Probably both.

The cuddling doesn’t just stick to the nighttime. Sometimes Scott will be on the couch watching TV or reading when Theo will walk in and sit down next to him, his body pressed snuggly against Scott’s side. All Scott can do is smile and wrap an arm around his shoulders, allowing Theo to snuggle in closer. He doesn’t think anything of it. It’s just something that happens. Except apparently not everyone feels that way.

It’s a pack night and everyone is gathered in Scott’s living room to watch movies. Most of the pack are gathered on the floor and on the couch, while Theo is sitting in the big armchair. Scott doesn’t even think before walking over and taking a set next to Theo. He’s confused when he feels Theo tense for a moment before his arm moves around his waist and he pulls Scott close.

Scott can hear the whispering of the pack and looks over to see all eyes are on them, “Is there a problem?”

“Yeah dude,” Stiles says, his brow furrowed in confusion, “Is there a reason you’re cuddling up next to Theo?”

Theo tenses behind him again and goes to pull away but Scott stops him with a hand on his arm, “We always cuddle.”

“You do?” Malia asks, “Since when?”

“I don’t know,” Scott says, “A few months maybe?”

“You’ve been cuddling Theo for a few months?” Stiles asks. “What the hell dude? Are you sleeping with him too?”

“No,” Scott says. He sighs when his heart skips a beat and the wolves in the room eye him curiously. “We sleep together but we’re not having sex. That’s just...”

“Don’t worry Stiles, I haven’t tainted your precious alpha.” Theo says, his voice holding a hint of bitterness. Scott’s confused when he can smell the hurt and sadness coming off of Theo in waves. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere else to be.”

“Where?” Scott asks, trying to remember Theo talking about having any plans.

Theo shrugs, “Anywhere other than here.”

“Theo…”

“Don’t worry it,” Theo says, giving Scott one of his fake smiles. It makes his chest ache. “I’m a big boy. I’ll be fine.”

Scott watches him go, feeling like something big just happened and he missed it. He’s torn between staying and going after Theo. Something tells him if he stays it might ruin things, and that he might lose whatever good thing the two of them have.

Scott stands up and runs towards the door, hurrying to put his shoes on. “I have to go.”

“Where?” Stiles asks.

“I need to go after him,” Scott says.

“Good,” Lydia says, “Fix this. And for Pete’s sake Scott, open your eyes and see what’s right in front of you.”

Scott waves her off and runs out the door. He stops and closes his eyes, letting Theo’s scent wash over him. He’s surprised when it leads him to his backyard and he finds Theo sitting on his old swing set.

“You didn’t go far,” Scott says, walking over and taking a seat next to him.

Theo shrugs, “I forgot my keys. And my shoes. And I didn’t feel like shredding my clothes to shift or running around naked.”

“Good call,” Scott says.

“What do you want Scott?” Theo asks, his eyes on the ground as his legs kick at the grass below, propelling his swing forwards and backwards.

“To talk. You seemed upset.”

“I’m fine.”

“Bullshit,” Scott says, turning his swing to face him. “You’re not fine. You smell sad.”

“Well then stop smelling me!” Theo snaps. He sighs when Scott jerks back, running a tired hand down his face. “I’m sorry. It’s just…”

“What?” Scott prods, nudging Theo’s leg lightly with his foot.

“Is the idea of us being together really that repulsive to you?” Theo asks.

“Of course not,” Scott says, feeling confused. “Why would you…?” Scott pauses, remembering the moment Theo’s scent had soured. When Scott had denied they were having sex.

_Open your eyes and see what’s right in front of you_ , Lydia had told him. Well now he is.

“Is that something you want?” Scott whispers, “To be with me?”

“Scott I wanted to be with you long before this whole mess started,” Theo tells him. “You were my first kiss, remember? I was being picked on because no one had kissed me yet and I was upset because I wanted it to be special and with someone I cared about and that cared about me. You just smiled and told me you cared about me a lot and asked if I cared about you. When I said that I did, of course, you asked if you could kiss me. And you did, right there in the middle of the hallway.”

“And then you were gone a week later,” Scott whispers.

He watches as Theo closes his eyes, “Yeah. I made a lot of stupid decisions back then. And in recent years. I just… I want a way to make up for it all. I don’t expect for you to feel the same way Scott. I know I’ve caused you a lot of pain and it would be asking for a lot.”

Scott reaches over and grabs Theo’s hand, smiling when Theo looks up at him in confusion. “It’s not.”

“What are you saying?”

Scott moves his swing closer to Theo’s until their knees are brushing and their faces are close enough for their noses to brush. “I’m saying I want you too. It took me a while to realize what this is. I think maybe I did but I was just too afraid.”

“Of me betraying you again?” Theo mutters.

“No,” Scott says, squeezing Theo’s hand. “Of losing you. I’ve lost you twice already, under different circumstances. I can’t go through that again.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Theo tells him. “Not unless you want me to.”

“I don’t. I want you here, with me,” Scott tells him.

“Then I’ll be here.”

“And I will too.”

Scott’s eyes flick down, lingering on Theo’s lips, watching as his tongue pokes out to wet them, before his gaze moves back to Theo’s eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

Theo smiles, real and true and bright, “I thought you’d never ask.”

Scott kisses him, soft and sweet, using his lips to say what his mouth hasn’t been able to say yet. Theo kisses back just as softly, his free hand coming up to hold onto the chain of Scott’s swing and pull him closer. It’s familiar and new all the same, which is how all things are with them. A mix of the old blending in with the new, allowing things to grow and change and shift but always winding up with them together, as they should be.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


End file.
